Mom the Baby Nurse

Children and independence

Amanda Aaronson — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 16:37:09 -0800

I remember being 9 years old as a latch-key kid. Mom was an attorney, not too far away, but working. Dad a physicist at Stanford. We lived about 5 blocks from school. I had a key around my neck on red yarn. I'd come home, get a yogurt from the fridge, and read in my room until my parents came home. I'd call them sometimes. I'd have my 3.5 years younger brother as part of the bargain sometimes. So it goes.

I started letting my then 8 year old spend upwards of an hour alone at home one and a half summers ago. The rules were laid out. No answering the door, or the phone. If you need me, here's my cell number. Yes, you may play on the computer, but within these limited websites. She was trustworthy. I was comfy. It was good.

I'm ready to let her, now to be 10 in a week and a half, run short errands, perhaps have a key to the house and let herself in if I'm not home and the neighbor carpool brings her home, and the like. Yet a month ago I got an interesting call. My daughter plays an instrument. She has for a year and a half now. I've dropped her off for lessons the entire time. I've dropped her off for ballet class for even longer, no big deal. I watch her in the door, and there she is, fine. The call said that my daughter didn't know where her lesson was supposed to be for her instrument. She'd gone to the front desk to, appropriately, ask where her teacher was to be found this time (it was a make-up lesson, it wasn't in the usual location within the school). The voice on the other end said to me "and let me take this opportunity to remind you of our drop off policy - you may not leave them here until they are 12".

My mature child is being punished (as are we) for taking the appropriate step of asking the front desk of where her teacher was.

I'm not asking the school to babysit her. I'm asking her to take care of herself, within the safe confines of a school of music and art, where she knows the teacher.

Was I too young to take care of myself? Or have we gone too far in the other direction of being overly cautious?

It is physically impossible for me to care for my other children and still hang out at the music school while she has a two hour ensemble class. Last summer, when she was nine, I though she could handle herself, along with a mature friend, in the atrium, during lunch between her two art camps. I received an e-mail telling me that I owed $40 for the lunchtime childcare of my daughter between AM and PM camps for the duration of the camp.

I find this lack of faith in our youth sad. I find this basis for litigation in our society sad - for I must assume that this is what drives the necessity for a babysitter for 9 year olds in a safe environment.

So what is it? Too lenient? Or overly cautious???

Jamie Oliver speaks

Amanda Aaronson — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 10:52:13 -0800

His TED speech on food related health, and the shortened life span of Americans today:

Food for thought, no?

Dissertation proposal

Amanda Aaronson — Mon, 15 Feb 2010 17:55:08 -0800

I've completed my proposal, put together my committee, and I defend the proposal a week from Thursday. I'm hoping to pass CHR/IRB (human subjects ethics board), and at some point, I'll actually get to DO my research! Woohoo!
:-)

We made it down the hill

Amanda Aaronson — Tue, 19 Jan 2010 19:21:14 -0800

Veeeeery slowly:

We skipped MLK day return traffic:

and it sounds like we probably beat the worst of the weather by leaving a day earlier than planned.

Crazy fun!

Surrogate matching

Amanda Aaronson — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 14:01:17 -0800

I did my surrogate journey by word of mouth. Actually, it was entirely governed by providence, I believe. However, since I carried Baby J, I've been approached repeatedly about either carrying again, or by people simply interested in having a child via surrogacy who don't necessarily know where to start.

With that, I would recommend looking into Independent Journeys as a matching service. I'm leary of agency matches - which creates a middle man with a vested interest in the outcome of the match. Yet so few people understand how to go about finding a surrogate, or intended parents. This seems like an ideal middle ground, with good guidance. I'd go further and recommend online forums, except that there seems to be so much drama involved in those services which those who have enough drama in their lives simply trying to have a baby just don't need.

Snow

Amanda Aaronson — Mon, 18 Jan 2010 12:43:24 -0800

We've been at the snow.

We "won" a week at a house in Tahoe/Donner at the kid's school's auction last year. We finally took advantage of it this past week. We were nervous about our thusfar dry year, but I think we did okay:

Looks like we're in for more precipitation, thank goodness, 'cause California has had some dry years lately.

Food, Inc

Amanda Aaronson — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 10:52:19 -0800

This documentary about the food industry in America was not surprising to Phil or I, as he'd read "Fast Food Nation" and we'd both talked at length with his sister, and then done some research about how food is produced in America today. However, seeing it first hand was alarming for sure.

We already did what we could to buy organically, but are making even more of an effort to do so. We eat minimal processed foods. The bigger step we're going to try to take now is to buy more locally grown produce - time to hit Farmer's Markets.

School starts again

Amanda Aaronson — Thu, 07 Jan 2010 10:46:47 -0800

For all of us.

After being surprised that the girls DIDN'T have school on Monday, they've been back for a few days. Today I go up to campus for my one seminar class.

I've been working on my research proposal, and it looks like I've got a good start on it. My advisor has looked it over and just sent it back with some suggestions for edits and additions. I'll hit that one tomorrow.

"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming...."

Uh oh...

Amanda Aaronson — Sat, 02 Jan 2010 13:03:16 -0800

My kids are dancing to Miley Cyrus....

So far, we've enjoyed that having a stretch of ages has kept the oldest younger. Now, all three are shifting "older" with her.

Yikes.

Cake Wrecks

Amanda Aaronson — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 12:56:04 -0800

Okay, so the Cake Wrecks blog often has me guffawing, but wait... did you notice???

Look closer...

No, don't scroll down...

Yup, the first cupcake featured on the NON-wrecky "Sunday Sweets" is BethAnn's Studio Cake cupcakes from last year, submitted by yours truly.

Small potatoes to winning the Food Network Cake Challenge, or being featured on Martha Stewart's Dreamers Into Doers competition, but I had a hand in this one. Nice.

I need to find the sheet music

Amanda Aaronson — Wed, 16 Dec 2009 19:24:39 -0800

I love this:

I'm going to the music store soon to look for the sheet music.

On the whole, I hated the score to Twilight, so I don't want the whole book, just the one song. Wish me luck.

Off meds...

Amanda Aaronson — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 11:26:07 -0800

I've been off Prozac for 9 days now. I was hesitant to post about it, since I didn't know how I'd do. I watched closely, especially come Wednesday when I knew it was out of my system (based on dose and half-life), to see how I was doing.

I've found that you CAN watch yourself TOO closely.

I have to remember that I'm ALLOWED to have emotions. I'm allowed to be frustrated, angry, and sad, so long as it's within reason, and balanced with happiness, love and laughter.

I'm guessing I needed the meds like I could have used electroshock therapy. But I'm still watching myself.

My qualifying exam

Amanda Aaronson — Sat, 05 Dec 2009 13:20:14 -0800

I PASSED!!!

That's basically all... :-)

Just call me Amanda Aaronson, RN, MSN, PhD(c) - the little "c" for "candidate". Looks pretty cool, though.

Don't be ashamed, just don't tell Tom Cruise

Amanda Aaronson — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 11:33:05 -0800

I've been given the opportunity to experience something new again. No seriously, don't read that as sarcastic at all, I mean it. I honestly see everything I experience as an opportunity to learn, and gain compassion.

I developed postpartum depression.

I'm not scared to say it. It definitely limited my ability to function for about a week and a half before I realized I wasn't going to get better on my own anytime soon, and I made an appointment. I have no patience.

I started Prozac on Monday. I've had three doses, and I feel like myself again, though I'm still quick to tear up. The pharmacist warned me that I'd likely feel an immediate reaction the first week, then possibly dull again the second week, and by the third week, I'd be at whatever level I will be for the dose and medication that I'm on, and that THAT is the time to assess how well the medication is working for me.

I think, though, it's definitely working, thank goodness!

I've also been taking St. John's Wort, SAM-e, a magnesium supplement, and restarted my prenatal vitamins. I'm hoping to stay on the lowest dose of Prozac, as so far my side effects are minimal, and wean off of it as soon as possible (though the doctor recommended I stay on it for about six months, to make sure I get out of the "danger zone" of postpartum depression - so "as soon as possible" is looking like May), so I'll keep up the supplements as well.

I definitely have a new sympathy for women who do otherwise uncharacteristically stupid things as a result of PPD, though.

Going off her kind of heroin

Amanda Aaronson — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 12:46:04 -0800

Having just read Twilight, I'm referring to "you are exactly my kind of heroin" here, bear with me.

Chloe is quitting the thumb. At first she was a bit upset about it, but now she asks for her medical tape for her thumb each AM. She's allowed the thumb at night.

Her sisters lovingly stepped up to become "thumb buddies" to help her not be alone in quitting the thumb:

So far, so good, it's been, what, four days? She's doing great.

Studying...

Amanda Aaronson — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 07:17:33 -0800

My qualifying exam oral portion is Thursday. Buckling down to study. I'm enough of a geek that I"m looking forward to it (and to it being done), and moving on to my dissertation work.

In the meantime, I have a long weekend with kids around. Erm... Will grab what little bits here and there that I can!

Ahhhh, the lovely post-partum hormones

Amanda Aaronson — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 17:07:57 -0800

Funny thing is, I don't really feel post-partum. I mean, obviously my life is different, as I'm lactating, and still losing the pregnancy poundage.

Yet, the hormone plummet still happens.

**sigh**

I'd say it'd be easier if I actually had a baby to distract me, but then I'd REALLY be crying, for nine months and beyond! ;-)

Ran Away

Amanda Aaronson — Sun, 22 Nov 2009 13:21:05 -0800

Phil and I escaped this weekend. We left the kids with my parents, and went to Carmel-by-the-Sea for long bike rides, nice dinners, and some reconnecting time.

It was lovely.

Darnitall, though, I got sucked into the Twilight series while we were there. The dangers of having time to read.

Phoebe the Flute Fairy

Amanda Aaronson — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 10:31:08 -0800

Phoebe's been playing flute for a year, and this session's workshop week (included for those in private lessons at the local music school) included doing some trio or ensemble work. So this is Phoebe's first ensemble performance. Simple music, but complicated by the groupwork.

She's also doing advanced band at school, and has asked to lengthen her lesson time from 30 to 45 minutes, which we will do after the holidays with the new session. She really is enjoying her flute.

(The fairy reference is an inside joke to the girls playing fairies from a book series they've read)

Time limits

Amanda Aaronson — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:38:08 -0800

Is it so hard to imagine that given a 15 minute time limit that an experienced presenter would manage to stay within that limit?

Today I was supposed to present at a conference. I was last. One of the presenters before me went FORTY FIVE MINUTES.

I managed to squeak mine out in five, and that was about five minutes after the conference was due to end.

Grrrrr.....

Back as promised! Exclusively pumping breastmilk

Amanda Aaronson — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 09:32:14 -0800

Not that I expect that after such a long hiatus I have any readers...

Thought I'd post about exclusive pumping, though, as I"m hooked up to the nipple extractor at this very moment.

Some key suggestions:

1. Lanolin, and lots of it. Not for AFTER the pump, like you'd use it after a breastfeed, but for just BEFORE the pump, so that as the skin stretches out, there's some moisturizing relief. After is good too, though what was put on before the pump will generally still be there, since no one is nursing it off.

2. Rig a hands-free device. Someone very kindly gave me some soft bras that aren't a perfect fit for me, but it doesn't matter. Now that the pump flanges come apart, I simply cut a hole in the bra cup where my nipple is (and I tried it without marking it once, and completely destroyed a bra because as it turns out, my nipples point outward. Who knew. So the second time I used a sharpie to mark the spot, and it's PERFECT) (WARNING: DO NOT CUT THE NIPPLE HOLE WITH YOUR NIPPLE IN THE BRA! seems obvious, but hey, I don't want my arse sued for someone else's trying it). Now I can pump and work at the same time! I'd post a pic, but really, nobody wants to see this.

3. Figure out a night routine. Since I wake to pump (simply because I wake up sore and full), I set out all the accessories before hand, ready for the number of times I get up (I have three sets, soon to be four), and I actually crack open my computer for a little ambient light, and the clock, and half doze through pumping. After 10 minutes, thereabouts, I detach, pour milk into storage bottle (which is attached for the first pump, I now use an 8 ounce glass bottle at the first pump, and then dump everything in on top of that bottle afterward), run it to the fridge, and back to bed. Everything is set for the next pump. I do clean up in the AM.

4. MY personal best galactogogues include Domperidone, Fenugreek, Mother's Milk Tea (occasionally, it seems, in spurts), alfalfa, and one and a half Amber Ales per day (half at lunch, one at dinner... I'm gonna try to do half at lunch, half at dinner today and see how it goes). Am bummed that wine seems to decrease production for the night.

That's what I've got for now... If I think of any more, I'll post 'em.

I'm the lamest blogger in the world!

Amanda Aaronson — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 12:55:50 -0800

But I'm going to try to pick it up again...

Quick recap of my life of late:

My surrogate baby is one month old today. I'm pumping for him. He's cute. :-)

My kids are healthy and happy, for the most part, except when we make Phoebe do homework. Then she's grouchy.

Phoebe's doing an amazing job with her flute. I'll post more about this later.

Piper and Phoebe are preparing to dance The Nutcracker with Dance Connections. Phoebe is in the party scene, which is about half of the first act, pretty cool for her. Piper is an angel, as it's her first year. Both girls just finished soccer again...

Chloe is Chloe. funny, cute, a total snugglebug, and trouble all in one package.

My qualifying exam papers are off and in the hands of my committee, and I sit for the oral part on December 3rd. I'm such a geek, I'm actually excited for it.

Phil is, for the moment, content with his work project. Makes us all happier.

He and I are headed to Carmel for a weekend sans kids, but WITH bikes, yay!!!

Okay, well, that's a pretty good quick recap.

HA! Just found my photo

Amanda Aaronson — Thu, 16 Jul 2009 10:13:13 -0700

in the news...

My friend BethAnn Goldberg of Studio Cake in Menlo Park competed in the Food Network Cake Challenge Shrek episode.

She's also competed in a Simpson's episode, which should air in November.

I wrote to President Obama

Amanda Aaronson — Tue, 24 Feb 2009 21:32:03 -0800

Not my greatest work, but:

Dear President Obama,

I am writing this under concern for healthcare, but in reality, it is much more than that. I am a woman, a mother, a nurse, a researcher, and a feminist, as such I have to raise the issue of reproductive choices.

As a healthcare issue, it is critical that birth control education and options become available to all women. Unplanned pregnancy is a major financial burden on our society, as many occur in women living below poverty, as are the children that result from these pregnancies.

Unplanned pregnancies often happen in teens, which makes this an education issue as well. In your address to Congress, you stated that it was our responsibility, to provide opportunities to young people obtaining an education. Additionally, you stated that to drop out of school was to fail our country. Yet unplanned teen pregnancies often result in failing to complete school. It is our responsibility to provide these teens with ways to increase their chances of gaining higher education, by education about contraception.

On a different issue related to reproductive choices, the AMA and the ACOG are pursuing legislation to require birth to occur in the hospital. This is not evidenced based legislation, as research bears out that mortality in the home setting is equivalent to the hospital setting, and morbidity is improved.

Hospital based birth is costly, and usually results in interventions that are even more costly. Out of hospital birth and prenatal care usually run in the $3-5,000 range, whereas the typical low-intervention in-hospital birth is at least twice that cost. If one factors in increased morbidity, resulting in prolonged stays for mother and/or infant, and rising C-section rates, this is a major healthcare cost issue.

In short, reproductive education and choices have the potential to decrease healthcare costs, increase the educational level of our youth today, and can improve the economic situation and strength of families in America.

Thank you for your time,
Amanda Aaronson, RN, MSN
Doctoral Student
University of California, San Francisco

There it is.

May the Guac Be With You?

Amanda Aaronson — Thu, 12 Feb 2009 19:29:11 -0800

What I want to know is did they EAT the Guacamole making up Han Solo? It's more than a little creepy, and awesome all at the same time.

My 3rd grader is happy in school

Amanda Aaronson — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 19:00:00 -0800

After the fall session of homeschooling our oldest, she's joined the ranks of Bullis Charter School students. She entered 3rd grade after the winter holidays, nervous - of course. We arrived at the school only to have her engulfed by her soccer and dance friends, never to look back at me.

In one and half weeks we are able to see more selflessness, more expectations of responsibility for her own work/actions etc, and even more appreciation for what we did for her this fall. She's VERY happy to be back in school. She adores her class. She's excited about the opportunities afforded by this school, and is disappointed not to be able to fully immerse herself immediately (due to previous obligations such as flute lessons and Mandarin classes). She wants to dive in to the school play, doesn't want to miss popsicle day, and is ecstatic about the field trip tomorrow to the Lawrence Hall of Science.

I've never seen her so happy about school, which makes ME happy.

3 year old "Doe, a Deer"

Amanda Aaronson — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 07:51:15 -0800

Doe a deer, a female deer
la a long long way to run
me a name I call my self
la a long long way to run
tea a jingle bell and bread
that will bring us back to doe-doe-doe-doe...

Eenie-meany-miney-mo

Amanda Aaronson — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 07:46:55 -0800

Three year old style:

Eenie-meany-miney-mo
Catch her by the tiger-toe
If she hollers let her know
eenie-meany-miney-mo

also done this way:

eenie-meany-miney-mo
catcher by the pider-po
If she hollers better bo
eenie-meany-miney-mo

Treating yeast naturally

Amanda Aaronson — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 19:05:22 -0800

A very cool reference for natural methods of treating yeast infections, including yogurt, garlic, tea tree oil, hydrogen peroxide and the like.

3 y.o. joke

Amanda Aaronson — Mon, 29 Dec 2008 19:04:11 -0800

"knock-knock"

"who's there?"

"Mrs. Apple"

"Mrs. Apple who?"

BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA **hysterical laughter for many minutes**